It's Hard Work Being a Parent of a Honey Badger

For a long time we referred to Aram as a honey badger sparked from this video. 

In the begining he was a sweet little boy that loved his mommy and frequently only wanted "mommy [to] do it!" but followed his big bro around with big loving eyes and played with dad silly games. He had a sweet face and always posed for the camera like a cute little doll. He snuggled and loved to find the nook (a small space to fit into near or on a parent). He giggled and ran and jumped and smiled at people.



Then once he discovered he could be his own person and make
decisions that would impact others he made it clear that he would do just that. I mean, Aram has been strong willed for a long time and did not attach himself to people very frequently...if you were a stranger you were just that. He learned quickly he could make the situation be all about him in a matter of seconds---probably a good thing in this family. :)



Now a days, he can keep up with the swearing and yelling (a requirement to be part of this family, right Michael?) as if he was an old crotchety man. But most of all he is one of the most stubborn kids I know. I realized early on, that none of the parenting skills I had developed with Jas were going to work. Most of the time Aram either was overly sensitive/manipulative or was super stubborn.


Although he never actually did the hands on hips, stomping foot "make me!" scream, he has made it clear that traditional time outs and taking breaks from a situation or negotiating for decisions is not going to work. It was my wonderful co-parenting (primary parent, really) of a husband that pointed this out as I was holding the door shut to his room one day, as I was adamant about him taking a time out in his room. 

Now I can say, he comes by this stubbornness honestly. There is a famous (in our family)  story of how Grandpops and daddy (when he was a youngin') squared off one day. Daddy stuck on a stool in the corner for time out and Pops having to take the day off to enforce the need to stay there until an apology happened. The jury is still out on who won this battle and frequently the argument continues around a dinner table at holidays but Aram's stubbornness is in his blood for sure.

And now one step further beyond stubbornness, he has learned the art of manipulation in the verbal dimension. Just this morning, he was being told he needed to apologize after kicking his brother and making him cry and he said, but "BROTHER TOLD ME I'M GONNA DIIIIEEE!" which was not the case at all. The other statement he likes to make in order to lessen the reason for apology is, "but I am still learning." Which usually is just an excuse and not a real reason for his misbehaving.

People don't believe us about Aram's honey badger side because in public he plays with others well, loves on his parents and hugs his brother a lot ...that is until they have to play the parental role for a weekend or even overnight (Right TT and Jeff?). Babysitters have reported that they are not sure if they responded appropriately, as Aram was super emotional and stubborn unlike they had ever seen before.

Ok, Ok, Ok...I exaggerate a bit .... I mean look at this boy, how could he be a honey badger?

Holidaze 2014

I am late with cards this year too...

pictures kinda tell it all...

Boys Will Be Boys: Weapons

Weapons has been an internal ethical debate for me, since the first
time that Jas picked up a rattle and shoved it at me in an aggressive way, grunting to let me know to back off. Ok, ok, maybe it wasn't quite that purposeful of a jab...but at some point my boys became obsessed with weapons---swords at first, then lasers, and well, now....whatever can be used to fight off bad guys, the dark force, or each other sometimes.

In the begining, I was really upset when my boys would pretend to shoot something and we put rules in place like, no pointing the weapon at people or animals. Later, we made rules like, anything that you don't see in our news media today and can't readily be found in our society can be used...bow and arrows-OK, lasers-OK, swords-OK, nunchuks-Ok, guns-No, etc.

Now I've come to realize that I really can't fight the weapons battle and win (which I know will make my Quaker mother cringe), but over a recent conversation where we discussed why guns were so bad for society with my 6 year old, I realized all those phasing in of weapon allowances helped to create a healthy and substantial fear of guns. And after all, this is all I really wanted to do. I want my sons to know when to walk away from a dangerous situation where a gun is involved and I think we have accomplished this. I like that when my kids are watching a kids movie (yes I said a kids movie as in rated G where to me it is shocking they allow such things) they will say to us, "Um dad/mom, I don't know if I want to watch this cause there are guns in it and they are bad." Now you gun shooting-for-fun people out there (and I know you exist and are normal people) should know this does not stop us from having epic battles in our household, nor does it stop me from allowing my boys to carry their weapons with them to the playground or for walks because after all, the old adage comes to mind, "pick your battles wisely" literally.

Roadtripin' to Cali ...cali...cali (2014)

 We took an adventure last summer to Lake Tahoe, California to see family, celebrate birthdays and do an extended camping trip. We took 26 down the eastern side of the Cascades toward Klamath Falls, went to Lava Beds National Monument, then met up with Brin and Kevin at Lassen Volcanic National Park, then to Lake Tahoe. Heading North we re-traced out steps except we stopped in Quincy, CA to visit Olde's cousins (and their three daughters), at which point we bolted for home as throwing up is not conducive to a fun road trip.

 Lassen is a definite need to explore more place, as we barely touched the surface of this magical place. We did explore the sulfur and mud pits and the hot springs at Drakesbad Guest Ranch. Having Kevin and Brin there made it fun to the umpteenth degree!

Lake Tahoe...what can I say... vacations on the beach are fun for all!
Stopping at Olde's cousin's place, where we stayed in their Yurt, hiked in the forest, got nails painted, and enjoyed a long overdue visit was out last stop on this long trip.

Nothing more is said, as every parent probably has dealt with vomiting children in the car. Luckily we were prepared and powered home!

Robo-Aram's 3rd Manufacture Anniversary!

robots ready

Power up and bolt on over for Aram's 3rd birthday!

Yes: Access Granted

Maybe: Loading.......

No: Access Denied

wires, nuts & bolts, computer chips, and megabytes (not pictured: machine oil-cupcakes, rocket fuel-drinks)

 

 

 

 

marshmallow pretzel robots made

robo arms

Birthday Boy!

 

Piles, Piles, Piles...EVERYWHERE!

Olde and I were not pile-free people to begin with, but having kids has made piles happen at an increasingly higher rate and quantity.  I sometimes go over to friends houses that don't have kids and envy their visible surfaces that are gleaming from being wiped down or stained from mugs and cups that were able to find the actual surface to leave their imprint. But then I remember in my life there is just more stuff/people to coordinate, things to do, items to organize, and well, life has just happened at what seems a VERY fast rate leaving in it's wake... piles.

never-ending dishes pile

needed to be filed paperwork pile

feet hurting lego pile

shoe pile

in the bed pile

multiplying art work pile

outgrown clothes/toys sell pile

 We have solved some of the pile issues with creative solutions, but they still exist and at least once a month we try to get it somewhat organized, removing a majority of the piles. We always have the kids participate so that they recognize their ability to create piles and put them away too.

hide it in a drawer

hang art up to be enjoyed

make sure they have their own places for their piles

label places with pictures for their ability to organize their piles

make sure there is a capture-all type of contraption that is quick and easy to use

 I remember when piles used to stress me out, but as time has gone on I seem less compelled to allow that stress to enter my life. I recognize that the sign that my mom had hanging in the kitchen really is true.

 "Dull women have immaculate homes." ~Anonymous

So my advice to you is let go of your parental guilt around organizing, putting stuff away, getting to the dishes and just enjoy being a parent! Go have adventures out of your house where there are no piles!

Big little brother

In both Olde's and my families, our "little" brother and sister are actually bigger than us, so it is no
surprise that although Aram is not bigger than Jasper (yet), he sometimes acts like the "bigger" bro. My sister towers 3-4 inches taller than me and in some parts of life reached the finish line quicker than me in the race of adult responsibilities (owning a business and home way before I was even close to graduating from college). Aram is always 1-2 inches taller on the growth chart at the same age as Jas was, making me wonder if he will catch up or even pass up his big brother. We know he is big for his age, because when you put him in a room of similar age or even older kiddos he towers above them.

So as Aram has gotten older it is no surprise that he has started to torture his big brother a bit and actually get the upper hand in many battles. Although Jas will always be his big brother, I know as a parent it will be important to nurture Aram into his own relationships, attributes, and successes in life.

I even sometimes find myself silently encouraging him to get the upper hand and to "win." I think this comes of a place of being keenly aware that he is the younger, smaller and sometimes vulnerable one, because of this.