The Vaccine Debate

Another Healthy Baby!

I am soooo incredibly torn on the ethical debate about giving our kids vaccines. I survived for many years without getting the regular doses of shots that most kids in my generation did, since my parents claimed religious right to not get them when I entered public school. And yeah... I was from a small town in AK where I only came in contact with a few kids a year and the school was a one-room building---in other words, this kind of thing was totally accepted. You also have to remember that back when I was kid (which was not long ago) there were fewer shots --maybe a total of about 13--- that everyone had to get and now there are like 26 or maybe more that they, the American Pediatrics Association, recommend giving to kids before they turn 3 years old.

Nonetheless, I can see both sides for sure---I mean polio and a few other really nasty bugs no longer exist in this country or world, but when your little one looks all happy and then wham, a shot that leads to crying, and then they get that look like you betrayed them...ouch a stab to your heart for sure!

And... have you ever read what is in vaccines??? cow slurry, monkey tissue, live diseases...I kid you not, if you don't believe me check out from your local library, The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child by Robert W. Sears, M.D., F.A.A.P.

At the end of a very long debate and many hours of research to make sure we were making the right choice for our first son, we ended up deciding it was better for the world and for us (considering we live in a very liberal metro area that if there was going to be an outbreak it would be here for sure) if a certain few were given. We did set some guidelines for the ones we choose to give: 
1) We designed our own schedule of when to administer them...Kaiser wanted to give a shot for Hep B---a sexually transmitted disease--- at birth, really Kaiser??? We said NO!
2) The shots had to have been around for a long while and shown a positive decrease in the disease---no Kaiser I will not give a pneumonia or flu shot to my infant that has only been on the market for a year.
 3) No more than 2 shots at once---sorry to say that the MMR, three-shot-in-one, is the only one that is an option at Kaiser so we still have give it---but not yet...we will wait until right before kindergarten.
4)  We give them only at the shot clinic at Kaiser so that J or Aram will not associate shots with Dr Fern, who is a great pediatrician, and her nurses.
5) Only give vaccines for illnesses that are very dangerous or have a higher incident of occurring---No chicken pox vaccine since we hope to find another kid to give it to our boys...I had it when I was young and I can tell you, although it was horrible, it was a kind of right of passage into the world of getting sick. In fact, I think most kids in my generation had them and remember them as horrible but important.
6). Bottom line We say when, where, what and how when giving shots---no convincing allowed!!!!

Even with all these "rules," I still struggle with giving them and Olde has to hold the boys when it occurs as I look away trying to play brave mommy. I think this is just part of being a parent---wearing a brave face even when you feel scared inside (more on this later).

Grandpops

All I can say is he really knows how to be that grandpa...He shows up with the most noisiest gifts (think keytar with annoying rifs and screeching microphone---see video below---- and I am sure we will own a drum set too in the near future) and always finds a way to give J sugar (see to the left) and then shrug the "What?" shrug. 

Just kidding Grandpops! well sort of ---all of the above are true :) as evidence from video and photo buuuuuttttttt......

Back when Jasper was just a pea inside of me he claimed that he would come for a visit when he could discuss Nietzsche with him, but you know what...he was here not even 7 days after J was born and same for Aram. He won't admit it but grand-babies make him all giggly and happy. His dedication to his grandsons is dutiful with weekend trips (16 hours of driving for a trip) our way just about any chance he gets and always with gifts for little ones.

But best of all are the visits to his cabin in the woods where we play among tall redwood trees, have bonfires, enjoy down time to the fullest, and ride on his John Deer mower. I think it is the best place for grandkids to play, maybe because I have such fond memories of playing outdoors among trees and in the dirt. I look forward to being able to drop the boys off and leaving for a weekend...that will be the ultimate pay back for the above mentioned grandfatherly duties.

Cold Chillin'

Man, Aram is such a chill baby. He will go anywhere and be held by anyone. We can take him to nice restaurants, hole in the wall places or on picnics, in the stroller or holding him, in a carrier, or car seat, rain or shine...no matter he is sooo happy! He will fall asleep on his own, especially if he is on the go. When he is hungry he does a little whimper but never lets it go totally like I hear other babies doing.

Big brother does not bother him unless he is doing a WWF move on his head---then we usually get some tears. It does not even bother him when J screams in his face or rocks him in his chair or tickles him...I mean he is so chill that I sometimes forget he is in the room when I am not holding him. 

How am I so lucky that both my babies were so easy? Does this mean that he will give me a really hard time later on...all I can say is, bring it son---you don't scare me I teach Special Ed!

Figuring Things Out

 Man co-parenting is sooooo hard...Old and I have had to learn to communicate all over again! About a year ago we just were dancing the dance of parenting without having to look down at our feet or count the steps in order to stay to the beat together....but then the second boy came and we had to relearn how to communicate...I mean you constantly have to talk to one another..."honey I am going pee--baby is on the couch and J is playing."  I mean really...do I really have to tell you my bowel movement needs---yep, it seems so. And then there is the more emotional talks like who's turn is it to put the kids to bed when you are dead tired or how to gracefully ask for time to yourself because you feel like you are going to scream if the kids don't stop pulling you in every way possible. Thankfully Olde is really good at making sure our communication is still going strong and he can read me really well (better than I tend to read his needs). I can't wait till we can dance again with out having to pay attention to it though!

Check out the skillz on this dada!

Baby Chatter...

some day it will be really chitter chatter of little ones as they play in the back yard... can't wait!

An OverWhelming Life

Lately I can't seem to get ahead on life...I mean it is a miracle to even get the necessities accomplished like the dishes done, groceries bought, kids bathed, bills paid, gas in cars, check email, blog, etc...Having our wonderful addition to our family has made things 6 times ( not 2 times as I had previously thought) harder to get stuff done. People warned me ---mostly my father-in-law--- that it would be rough and difficult but I never imagined that I would feel so defeated at the end of the day. Between nursing and then giving equal amount of attention to big brother there is not time to get other stuff done. Case in point, the floors in our house are DISGUSTINGLY dirty and need to be swept in a really bad way...I have been trying to get to it for a weeks now. I had forgotten how much time it takes to simply be a mom. Plus then you add in work, exercise, time for hubby, and wow that slice of the pie of time that used to be for me has gotten really really small. I miss me time...and hope that it will return in larger quantities soon. Olde and I have completely given up trying to get stuff done around the house when we are home alone with the kids and even though we are always apologizing for not getting stuff done to each other, both of use never fault each other as we know it is near impossible to even make a phone call when you are alone with the boys. And how Olde does it ---I mean being home all the time alone with the boys---I have no idea. I think I would go crazy. Maybe he does --although you would never know it---and that is why I come home to this some days...

BUT even though this is a hard hill to climb, I love every minute of it. Is that weird? I guess what I am trying to say is that when Young Old was born I did not know that part of my heart even existed.  I thought I knew what love was until he came into my life and that new way of viewing love was discovered. Once Old and I decided to have a second child, then I wondered how I would share that part in my heart with another being but what I have learned is that that part of my heart has gotten bigger instead of being split in two as I had expected---kinda like when the Grinch's heart grew when he was infected with the holiday spirit. Now if only time would grow longer to accommodate this new family dynamic.

So as tired as I am and sad that I don't have as much time for me I would never take it all back. This is my life and I love every minute of it! I mean look at him, how could you not?

check out the new skills in the bumbo chair

Goodbye Great-Aunt Betty Lou

I like the saying one soul arrives, another leaves...but that doesn't really make sense since our planet is now over populated thus making the saying seem really unreal. So I will stick with the idea that the stars twinkling above are the souls that have passed, making sure we are still doing all right---a story my own Grandma Betty told me once.

My Grandma's sister-in-law, known to us as Aunt Betty Lou, passed away this week. She had lived a very full life and loved to do many things outdoors and indoors but was especially fond of reading as she seemed to create libraries everywhere she went. She was a kind, gentle, and sincere soul, that was always easy to talk to and was thought of in our family as a sort of grandma figure.

Jasper always received gifts from her when she would come to our house---and not surprisingly books of course---as she really like the little man and even included a paragraph in her holiday letter last year about him. I am sorry to say that she never got a chance to meet Aram but I am sure she would have adored him as much as well.

I happy she is no longer in pain and my thoughts are with her family as the grieve her loss.

...so for now we say good bye to Aunt Betty Lou.

Here she is helping jasper put together his tent he got for his birthday last year---or maybe she is preventing him from stabbing her in the eye with the tent pole, either way she was always such a trooper with playing games and having fun with him.

A letter to my second son

Dear Baby Aram,
It is that time of year again when I have to go back to school. It is always a bitter sweet for me. I love what I do and it makes me feel that my life is whole but I will miss you tremendously...as well as, your Big bro and Daddy. It has been a wonderful 3 months together and I will cherish it as we go forward onto new adventures together.

I have really enjoyed learning the delicate dance of nursing and exploring your new world and watching you grow from infant stage of sleeping 90% of your day to becoming a baby where you start to explore your surroundings and fall in love with your family.

Although I will be gone most of the day, do not fret little one as you have the best care giver a son could ask for, your daddy. He is a great role model with kindness, fun, silliness, and best of all, a gigantic bucket of love for his sons. I will be there in the evenings to play, nurse, and to tuck you in at night.

You will also have a big brother to entertain you during the day. He is a great big brother and will look after you as you grow older too. Jman calls this part of the day the boy's bar---which I think his trying to say---boys only in the club. hehehehe.

So my second son have a great time at the boy's bar and know that I will be thinking of you A LOT while I am away each day.

Love your Mama

Rattle Time

It always amazes me when a new developmental stage is reached...here is one that makes life fun from here until infinity. Once a baby can grasp things, it is rattle time, finger grabbing time, and hair/earring grabbing time..you get the idea. J-man is loving that his little brother can now doing something besides sleep and eat and poop (although he loves helping change diapers) and tries to put things in his hands all the time. Time to teach Jman about appropriate toys for babies!

Aram has also started to put his fingers in mouth---or for that matter, any other fleshy thing that passes by his mouth. He will suck his pointer and middle finger to put himself to sleep even. The other night I was getting myself ready for bed in the bathroom before nursing him and putting him to sleep, and when I went in the bedroom, he was out, fingers in mouth and totally content. It is cute but man it might be a hard habit to break...not to mention a germy habit. ewwwww.

Other fun things that Aram is doing: watching every move Jman makes---this is especially scary when he is watching him have melt downs or when he is acting out  by hitting or kicking. I hope he sees the time out portion too. hehehe. He has also started noticing his toes and will spend time staring at them in amazement as if to say "where did those come from and am I making them move, wow!"

It is so fun to watch my little one grow but at the same time a little sad to know that I will not ever experience this again. So to all you soon to be mamas out there---you know who you are---my advice is, some how find a way to document these memories cause they will fade as each stage in your babies life is reached.

Smiles!

life becomes so wonderful when the baby learns to smile...here are a few of the first ones...

grandma oh oh....

About a month after Aram was born my mom came to town to help with baby and 3 year old...she had wonderful insights and abilities to lull a baby to sleep and entertain a 3 year old. Jasper noted that she always comes with gifts for everyone--- which is really important these days!

For lack of better words...she got mad skills!


in the following pictures...i really like how she beams with love and pride over her grandchildren...

maternal side of things...

so excited to be a g-ma

totally in love

babies and more, oh my!