Giving thanks

For Thanksgiving we headed up to Kirkland (across the lake from Seattle to my sister's) where many families (Micheletti, Gray, and Gray in-laws x 2, Fox, Wallen, and Nordling,) found common place of giving thanks for family and good food and adequate shelter. It was amazing food cooked mostly by mom, who could quiet honestly be a professional chef and dessert by my sister's best friend, who is now her sister-in-law (thanks to some handy match making on her part). It was quiet comical at times as, we all never sat down to eat together since two babies and two preschoolers kept all parents and grandparents busy, but nevertheless enjoyed each other's company to the fullest. Peek the pics to follow for visual reference (sorry they are so pixelated---got them off an email).

dinner is served 

digesting the food

super glue and duck tape...a parent's best friend!

It seems the pile of toys in need of fixing gets really big on the fix-it shelf some days (depending on how many hours of intense play inside was warranted by really ugly weather outside)...and I started to think about the tools we use as parents to make sure our household keeps running smoothly and alleviates tears quickly...so here is the list I came up with:
duck tape
super glue
rope
hand soap
hand sanitizer
rubber bands
wrist restraints
tabaco sauce
band aids


Obviously some of these are a joke...but can you think of any others?

If you don't own these already then you need to go get some before the baby comes!

how many ways can you cut a pie

I say this a lot over the life time of this blog and hopefully it is a safe to say these things...and that it does not come off as complaining but rather reflection...with that being said....here it goes...

I have been feeling so overwhelmed in life lately...it has been a total RE-adjustment to the comfortable life that I had been accustome to, that is the one child life. Why did I ever think one child was difficult? Everyone warned us that it was more than double the work....so I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am feeling squished out of the pie, or rather my slice of life has gotten smaller in the pie of life...I am asked to preform at top notch as boss, coworker, parent for two boys both with different needs, wife, friend, neighbor, sister, and daughter which does not leave much room for myself...

I am not going to lie that I feel a lot of mommy guilt* all the time about taking time for myself (since I am already out of the house 50+ hours a week)...I would love to fit yoga and running back into my life...but have yet to figure it out. I wish I could be more like my sister who just does it ---man she is good at fitting herself in (although I have noticed her nails and eyebrows are not perfectly shimmering all the time lately) to her weekly activities. I recently have been spending me time doing things like Dr's apts (another blog topic) and acupunture (see blog post the value in silence--coming soon) and therefore can't seem to find the time to do the other mentioned activities. And quiet honestly although I am able to fit time in to see girlfriends while lugging along baby, it is also difficult to fit in time with my hubby, just me and him.

I know that there has to be an adjustment period but it has been almost 7 months and I am still struggling with it. So to you parents out there, that have done this already...how do you fit you into the  pie of life?

*mommy guilt is guilt one feels when away from child no matter the circumstances.

the TV debate

No screen time before two is what most pediatricians and child advocates say....but times are a changing...and I wonder does this really mean NO screen time at all or just no TV? does this include face time on iPhones, Skype, Kindles, and iPads? Does a photo in an electronic format count as screen time? By 1.5 J could scroll on the mouse and pretend type on a keyboard, and by 2 he could operate an iPhone (my sister's of course as we can't afford one...yet). Recently he told a babysitter how to turn on the Xbox including the password (note to self to change that often) to get to Netflix to watch a movie. I guess what I am saying is that it is a different time with kids...they are growing up with technology as a the norm and in all forms impacting their lives on the daily.
Olde and I have opted to limit TV and movies for our kids, as we believe that some of these formats have suggestions of corruption that we can't control.  So far we have been lucky to be able to control this part of their lives...For example, when we were visiting my sister recently and had the public broadcasting channel on for some "appropriate" cartoons (this is a whole another blog topic for another day), and the adds came on J got upset and told me to put the movie back on...I had to explain to him about adds on TV. I couldn't help but feel proud of the fact that our 3 year old had never seen TV and therefore did not know about adds. And...while I am bragging about our parenting...you should also know that although our 3 year old has had a bean and cheese burrito and rice from taco hell, I mean taco bell (it was a screaming moment on the freeway of one too many hours driving---you know that kind if you area parent)---BUT has never set foot in any other fast food nastiness as of yet...Take that McDonald's!!!!
ok sorry for the ranting...back to the debate at hand...
I guess what I have decided is that technology changes so often that we have to adjust our parenting styles to what we feel is right instead of blanket statements of NO or YES on everything.
Here is our list for under the age of 2:

• Skype YES
• Iphone games NO
• Iphone Facetime YES
• Ipad NO
• Kindle NO
• Pictures in electronic format YES

So in other words media that allows for interacting is ok by us....it is the other brain numbing that we find not so good for baby's little brain. What are your thoughts?

Brotherly love...

Jasper has really turned into a great big brother! He is always playing with Aram by bringing him toys or even just giving him a smile here and there... He even helps change diapers and feed him.

Although sometimes I think Aram is a bit put off by the toy snatching or being knocked over by his big brother, I love watching them grow into the really great friends that I know they will be.

I like that when I ask J how he describes himself, his first thing he says is a big brother.

If I ask J to watch Aram for a second he instantly goes and gets his little bro a toy or makes silly faces at him to make him laugh.


I hope as a parent that I can continue to foster this love!

My three favorite pics of the last 6 months...

Here they are...

family portrait summer 2011

Jasper at the pumpkin patch 

Aram striking a pose

it's the little things...

I don't want to forget how he looks at me when he is nursing...to say I love you, mommy, for nourishing my body and soul.

I don't want to forget that he has been a squirmy nurser...always kicking his feet and moving his head around to see what is going on in the room.

I don't want to forget that when he is really enjoying nursing he rakes his little fingers on my skin, clothes, face...just feeling textures and enjoying being in my arms.

I don't want to forget how he reaches up to my lips for kisses on his hands as he nurses.

I don't want to forget how his eyes sparkle as I walk in to the room after a long day away at work.

I don't want to forget how he sleeps nuzzled into my neck at night...breathing in and out slowly and peacfully.

I don't want to forget his smile....so happy and content to just be Aram Adrian Micheletti, mommy's little boy.

All in a days work...

who needs a tool belt when you have undies...

We have been a busy household lately...milestones all around. J has really started to play make believe really well ...pirates, dinosaurs, fix-it guy (as seen in the pic), restaurant, knights, and his favorite, superheros---especially Spiderman and Ironman.
Whereas, Aram has been working at sitting up, rolling over,---no he is not a dog but these are big deals in the baby world too--- blowing raspberries, and eating his first solids. Man all in a matter of days too...
I can't help but get a little sad that this will be the last time I get to go through all of these milestones with a baby of my own. I can't wait for some of my friends to start having some...wink wink...you know who you are.

On the other hand Aram and J are so cute together I find myself whistling the happy tune inside my heart everytime I see them interacting.

Big Bro helping with first solid food.

Today was a small glimpse of what will become of a really great friendship for them I think. I had Aram sitting propped up against the base of the couch with pillows on each side for incidental falling to one side (he sat like this for a full 25 minutes never toppling over either) and him and J played restaurant, where J would order food and then pretend to take the food from Aram and eat it...man it was so cute. Aram was so into it he kept reaching for his brother and making happy sounds. Then later on as I was vacumning J kept replenishing Arams Bumbo tray with toys to keep him busy. What a good big brother! At one point I looked over and J had moved his Bumbo chair away from where I was working. I ask J why he had moved him and in his 3-I-know-everything-voice he said, "so the noise wouldn't be too loud. Duh mom.

If Aram could talk I am sure he would say "Thanks big brother for all the cheering on!"

Sooooo in love!!!

I really like this boy of mine! He is so even tempered and loves his big brother, which is what a I wanted when I decided to have two. Aram watches J's every move, hopefully only taking in only the well behaved moments of three-dom.;)  I know he will learn a lot from his big brother!
I love the age he is at right now...where he is so excited to just have a toy or two to chew on and although his poop is gnarly, he is easy to please with a simple nursing session and some snuggles. Plus I just love the way he smells---hmmmmm baby smell.
And although I know growing up is inevitable I kind of secretly wish he would just stay this age and size forever.

thank you letter to my love

To my beloved husband and father of my children,
You amaze me with your patience and level of commitment to be the best father, dad, daddy, dada, you can possibly be. When ever I ask you to make plans for your future you always remind me that you are happy were you are in life by simply being a dad. This always makes me realize that you truly are committed to our sons. I know the sacrafice has been enourmous for us monitarily and you professionally (putting your career path on hold). I realized how much this meant you when I read the final post to J's blog...so I guess all I really want to say is thank you! Here is to many more years parenting together! Love you F and A!
~Q

matchy match!

Handsome little devil, he is...

It has been too long since I have been on here to blog about parenthood and my little one...I don't know if I had writer's block or I have been just so swamped to really have a moment to sit down, focus and reflect on my life...but nonetheless here it goes...the post that should have happened a few weeks back. Enjoy.

_______________________________________________________________
Halloween is my favorite holiday...maybe it is the feeling in the air of closing shop for the year, or the smell of wood burning stoves, or the start of a season of family gatherings, or just the shear fun of dressing up in costumes: Mine this year, named by my 3 year old who couldn't remember Wonder Woman, was Captain Mom! Love it...because many days I do have to wear this costume to keep going to get through the day...

This year it was so much fun to celebrate Halloween! Mostly because J really got what it was about and could recite the jingle "trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat" by heart and still uses it to ask for a treat from time to time. The following flix document the fun times had...

Pumpkin carving a must!

the end result...

Jimmy and Wendy across the street had a great costume ball that the neighborhood kids thoroughly enjoyed them selves at...well, except for Elsa who did not want her picture taken wearing the mouse head.

The line up: Aram, Elsa, and Bell 

Aram gettin' some Halloween lovin' from his aunt T-T. This outfit was one of our favorites that J wore...it is almost completely worn out actually, but it was so cute the first time around we decided to bring it back this time too.





Halloween: the handsome little devil and his aunties...check out the head dress Squirt got her hands on...her costume was amazing! T-T got an "F"---showed up with no costume and no treats either, Olde had to loan her a mask, hence the Darth Vader look--- for this Halloween but I know she will make it up next year...right T-T?

Devils VS. Super Heroes...who do you think won?

The devils, of course... only because they were so cute...well one of them was!

"trick or treat, smell my feet..."

Our neighbors Marci and Heather were total sports...they got special spider rings that J is still cherishing and dressed for the part for when we came a knockin'...check 'em out!

Happy Ghouls Day Everyone!

Over the hill and through the forest we go....

Grandpops house is a sanctuary in the redwoods in Northern Cali, that always is such a nice get away for us. Wish it was a just a tad closer though, because the 6 hour trip  down I-5 turns into 8 hours with kids... and 8 hours is just a bit long for a family of four in a car...and as Grandpops suggested we just about needed Valium to get us all home with our sanity intact, with the last hour consisting of inconsolable crying from both boys.
But while there, fun to be had is in every corner, whether it be at the beach, in the forest just out the back door, or oogling at the fashions of the the small town folkers...

Grandpops shows J a hermit crab

dad shows J how to find Agates

good visiting time

zoom in to see poop dripping out of his pant leg...yum.

Auntie Rie-Rie protecting us from the bad villains at the beach

And J always gets to take a ride on the John Deer Lawnmower. A highlight for all, especially J!

here we goooooooooooo....zroommmm zrooommmm

Thank you for hosting and sharing your space with us, Danpa, Rie-Rie, and Grandpops!

snuggle time with uncle Danpa!

Adventures at Fort Vancouver

We did not do as much outdoors activities this summer as usual...I think I will play the baby card on that one, but we did manage to cross the river over to For Vancouver.

There is nothing better than to watch your 30 something husband turn into a 6 year old again as he explores a Fort with his 3 year old son! They are both still talking about the cannons and look out tower climb. For the me, the highlight was the amazing garden and blacksmith that was actually making stuff in the blacksmith shop. Aram slept through the entire thing of course. J will have a blast showing him this place when he is a little older.

In the blacksmith shop

If you look closely you can see the boys in the window

cannon balls galore!

poop-o-lious

As a parent, poop becomes a thing that just is...in other words, you learn to deal when the poop is on you or all over your little one. In Olde's blog titled "Birth Control" he pretty much sums up the concept of just dealing while in his later post,"Birth Control Pt. 372", the reality of it all just soaks in---no pun intended.
Well, our little Aram has followed in his brother's foot steps holding his dodo for 2 to 3 days---Don't worry folks the Kaiser pediatric nurse advice line told me it is common for breast feed babies to even not go for up to a week...yep 7 days...hate to catch that one. We have enough trouble catching the two to three day explosions (and thankfully these usually occur on my days off---that is, while I am away at work---when Olde is on duty, or would that be on doodie).
And the thing about it all, is that it can happen any where anytime; like all over your best girlfriend's leg, up the back all over the car seat, at the beach running out the legs of overalls, and all over inside the Beco while on a long walk. We now travel at all times with 2 clean outfits because it seems that when one gets out the pipes more follows...yum.

a puddle of poop-o-lious!

In fact as I am writing this, little man started to have that undeniable odor of baby poop start to linger...and yep, a good one just escaped the pipes...gotta go change it before seepage starts to occur.

Cousin's getting bigger!

Caden on left and Aram on right

They just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger...

for me, it is kinda sad because this will be the last time I get to experience any of these baby-cute milestones. With J it felt like it took along time to reach each milestone but with Aram time is just zipping by! Nonetheless, it will be really fun to watch these two grow into the best of cousin friends with J leading the group into all kinds of mischief.

that's not crying...you want to hear crying...

Aram has to be the chillest baby I have ever met...he never cries (unless he has just been jumped on--by accident of course---by his big bro). He kinda does this squealing thing to let us know that he needs to be payed attention to.

check out his "crying" below...

This is kinda bad because it means that we tend let me squeal for a while before picking him up...he can really get in the high octaves too! I sometimes worry we are scarring him for life by doing this, but he seems to survive and continue to be the happy baby he is...

It totally makes my sis jealous since her little one goes from happy to pissed-pick-me-up-now wailing in 10 seconds...

mmmmm....boobies.

I love nursing! What a gift we have to be able to bond and support our new little ones.
With my first boy, it was a rocky start. first, I had VERY sore nipples, then a bout of yeast that ended up inside my breasts, then a couple of bouts of mastitis---arrgghhhh...but with Aram it has been wonderful. It helped that we had 3 months together from the start to learn the delicate dance of nursing. No one ever tells you how hard nursing is to learn to do...I mean they talk about the being tired and the labor...but man, the nursing is the most important and most hard part of being a mom, I think.
This time around it was easier for several reasons. One, I knew from the get go that I would spend the majority of my day doing it in the beginning. I remember realizing with Jasper that more than 70% of my day I had to sit and let a little thing be nurished by me and I felt confined and trapped. It wasn't until my mom told me to buck up and be a mom, even though it seemed harsh at that time, that I got over it. Two, I knew how to do it and what a good latch felt like and looked like. I also knew what all the signs were for troubles so that I could prevent them from happening this time around. Three, this confidence I had this time really helped Aram in learning to latch as well. It did not take long for my milk to come in (2 days) and before we knew it we were nursing like pros. I love the connection that happens between mom and child (it is really hard to describe if you have not experienced it) and I love the fact that it forces me to sit down and relax and focus on loving my little one.
It is not an easy skill to learn and I am always sad when I hear that women give up trying. It makes me want to give up my profession and become a lactation specialist to help other mothers learn to love it as much as I have.

Plus, I love that my son knows how to nurse too!

Lovely Aunties

We are blessed to have Olde's two younger sisters (T-T--from his mom's side, and Squirt---from his dad's side) living in Portland...free babysitting, un-ending love for the nephews, and good converstations are had almost weekly.

baby spit up...yum.

J was a VERY spit-upy baby....but Aram not as much...or at least not so far, BUT every now again he really gets us good. You gotta be quick on this one to notice...but it was like a bird had pooped on Olde's head. hehehehe.

Nana and Bruce

Nana was here in the beginning, taking care of us four and especially getting in snuggle time with infant Aram...It feels like a light year away now, but those memories of the first few weeks will be with us forever. Thank you NANA!




 

our view of the Nana and Bruce

Every other week or so, we get to see Nana and Bruce as we peer into each others living-rooms through our Skype connection (if you have not tried skype you gotta check it out...it is awesome!!!!). It is a highlight for us on these usually busy weekends. Nana oogles at the baby and Bruce always tries to get J to talk to him, which sometimes is met with 3 year old no's but most of the time J shows them something he is working on or doing and they get to see how big the baby has gotten. About two times a year we get a long hang in over summer vacation or Christmas break...this year it is Christmas---hopefully Nana won't spoil J too much, but she probably will...it is the way of the grandmother-hood and there is no stopping her. Until the next big hang, we love from afar.

Milestones x 2

 duh...the superhero needs to be the in the front

Developmental milestones are best left to occur naturally is the decision I have come to...


About two weeks ago J decided one day that he was no longer going to wear pull ups. While I tried to contain my emotions (I was jumping up and down with excitement inside), I calmly said " Oh good idea honey" and practically ran upstairs to get a pair of his big boy underwear---- with super heroes on them of course! He then decided to to wear them to our friend's house for the evening and then went poop in the big boy potty while he was over there....and viola! A potty trained preschooler! He even drove 8 hours to and from grandpops house in CA with no accidents and has gone to preschool now for two days with no accidents either. I am sooooo relieved and thankful we took Dr. Fern's advice with just letting it be.Of course it took us coming up with a cool name, penis pocket/bucket, for the front of the undies  to convince him to wear them the correct way but once again nature has taken it course and life is good.

 and....

brother hang time...

 Aram has started to giggle not just when tickled but when big brother bear does a funny dance--such as the noodle dance, where he wiggles his behind back and forth while eating noodles---you have not tried this, you have to, it is soooo much fun. He also finds it hilarious if you put your face close enough to his and he grabs your nose and when you pull his shirt over his head and say peek a boo. This contagious giggling makes my long days away at work worth every minute of every part of my life. In other words Aram is starting to be aware of others and his surroundings in away that makes play time really fun.

Growing and Growing and Giggles

Every week Aram grows even cuter. He has now discovered his toes and follows J's every move around the room. He also shows interest at looking at faces of other babies...especially Cousin Caden...but the best development is his laugh...see for yourself.

And of course the move still puts J in stitches as well...

Man, daddy you have the touch. Keep em' giggling because it is music to my ears for sure!

Big changes in the family

There have been some big changes in our family this fall. Besides me going back to school, as in working, J started preschool. Little Lights Playschool is a Waldorf-based, 10 kid, in-home preschool where J gets to make bread, be creative, play, read books, and practice being a little being. Olde gets two days with just Aram or at least a few hours for two days with just baby and happily reports how much easier it is with just one kid at his side.

check out the smile on his first day of preschool

As parents of a first child to go to preschool it has been hard for us to let go a bit. There are times when we doubt our decision to put him in preschool, like when he came home 3 days in a row and told us one of the girls had been hitting him or when the teacher told us that J needs to learn to play being a nice superhero (not a mean one) or not act like Hulk (which was scaring some of the kids). But just as Olde and I get ready to talk to the teacher about these types of incidents J reports that that same girl is his girlfriend, or he raises his hand at the dinner table to talk, or he tells us he has to go wash his hands before he eats, or that he now wants to wear his big boy underwear like the other kids at preschool, so we decide that really it was the right decision to allow him to have his own thing every week, were he learns to sort out the kid world among his peers and learns the flow of working in a group in a "school" setting. The bottom line is that us parents are the ones struggling with the idea that our son is growing up, not him.

The Vaccine Debate

Another Healthy Baby!

I am soooo incredibly torn on the ethical debate about giving our kids vaccines. I survived for many years without getting the regular doses of shots that most kids in my generation did, since my parents claimed religious right to not get them when I entered public school. And yeah... I was from a small town in AK where I only came in contact with a few kids a year and the school was a one-room building---in other words, this kind of thing was totally accepted. You also have to remember that back when I was kid (which was not long ago) there were fewer shots --maybe a total of about 13--- that everyone had to get and now there are like 26 or maybe more that they, the American Pediatrics Association, recommend giving to kids before they turn 3 years old.

Nonetheless, I can see both sides for sure---I mean polio and a few other really nasty bugs no longer exist in this country or world, but when your little one looks all happy and then wham, a shot that leads to crying, and then they get that look like you betrayed them...ouch a stab to your heart for sure!

And... have you ever read what is in vaccines??? cow slurry, monkey tissue, live diseases...I kid you not, if you don't believe me check out from your local library, The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child by Robert W. Sears, M.D., F.A.A.P.

At the end of a very long debate and many hours of research to make sure we were making the right choice for our first son, we ended up deciding it was better for the world and for us (considering we live in a very liberal metro area that if there was going to be an outbreak it would be here for sure) if a certain few were given. We did set some guidelines for the ones we choose to give: 
1) We designed our own schedule of when to administer them...Kaiser wanted to give a shot for Hep B---a sexually transmitted disease--- at birth, really Kaiser??? We said NO!
2) The shots had to have been around for a long while and shown a positive decrease in the disease---no Kaiser I will not give a pneumonia or flu shot to my infant that has only been on the market for a year.
 3) No more than 2 shots at once---sorry to say that the MMR, three-shot-in-one, is the only one that is an option at Kaiser so we still have give it---but not yet...we will wait until right before kindergarten.
4)  We give them only at the shot clinic at Kaiser so that J or Aram will not associate shots with Dr Fern, who is a great pediatrician, and her nurses.
5) Only give vaccines for illnesses that are very dangerous or have a higher incident of occurring---No chicken pox vaccine since we hope to find another kid to give it to our boys...I had it when I was young and I can tell you, although it was horrible, it was a kind of right of passage into the world of getting sick. In fact, I think most kids in my generation had them and remember them as horrible but important.
6). Bottom line We say when, where, what and how when giving shots---no convincing allowed!!!!

Even with all these "rules," I still struggle with giving them and Olde has to hold the boys when it occurs as I look away trying to play brave mommy. I think this is just part of being a parent---wearing a brave face even when you feel scared inside (more on this later).

Grandpops

All I can say is he really knows how to be that grandpa...He shows up with the most noisiest gifts (think keytar with annoying rifs and screeching microphone---see video below---- and I am sure we will own a drum set too in the near future) and always finds a way to give J sugar (see to the left) and then shrug the "What?" shrug. 

Just kidding Grandpops! well sort of ---all of the above are true :) as evidence from video and photo buuuuuttttttt......

Back when Jasper was just a pea inside of me he claimed that he would come for a visit when he could discuss Nietzsche with him, but you know what...he was here not even 7 days after J was born and same for Aram. He won't admit it but grand-babies make him all giggly and happy. His dedication to his grandsons is dutiful with weekend trips (16 hours of driving for a trip) our way just about any chance he gets and always with gifts for little ones.

But best of all are the visits to his cabin in the woods where we play among tall redwood trees, have bonfires, enjoy down time to the fullest, and ride on his John Deer mower. I think it is the best place for grandkids to play, maybe because I have such fond memories of playing outdoors among trees and in the dirt. I look forward to being able to drop the boys off and leaving for a weekend...that will be the ultimate pay back for the above mentioned grandfatherly duties.

Cold Chillin'

Man, Aram is such a chill baby. He will go anywhere and be held by anyone. We can take him to nice restaurants, hole in the wall places or on picnics, in the stroller or holding him, in a carrier, or car seat, rain or shine...no matter he is sooo happy! He will fall asleep on his own, especially if he is on the go. When he is hungry he does a little whimper but never lets it go totally like I hear other babies doing.

Big brother does not bother him unless he is doing a WWF move on his head---then we usually get some tears. It does not even bother him when J screams in his face or rocks him in his chair or tickles him...I mean he is so chill that I sometimes forget he is in the room when I am not holding him. 

How am I so lucky that both my babies were so easy? Does this mean that he will give me a really hard time later on...all I can say is, bring it son---you don't scare me I teach Special Ed!

Figuring Things Out

 Man co-parenting is sooooo hard...Old and I have had to learn to communicate all over again! About a year ago we just were dancing the dance of parenting without having to look down at our feet or count the steps in order to stay to the beat together....but then the second boy came and we had to relearn how to communicate...I mean you constantly have to talk to one another..."honey I am going pee--baby is on the couch and J is playing."  I mean really...do I really have to tell you my bowel movement needs---yep, it seems so. And then there is the more emotional talks like who's turn is it to put the kids to bed when you are dead tired or how to gracefully ask for time to yourself because you feel like you are going to scream if the kids don't stop pulling you in every way possible. Thankfully Olde is really good at making sure our communication is still going strong and he can read me really well (better than I tend to read his needs). I can't wait till we can dance again with out having to pay attention to it though!

Check out the skillz on this dada!

Baby Chatter...

some day it will be really chitter chatter of little ones as they play in the back yard... can't wait!

An OverWhelming Life

Lately I can't seem to get ahead on life...I mean it is a miracle to even get the necessities accomplished like the dishes done, groceries bought, kids bathed, bills paid, gas in cars, check email, blog, etc...Having our wonderful addition to our family has made things 6 times ( not 2 times as I had previously thought) harder to get stuff done. People warned me ---mostly my father-in-law--- that it would be rough and difficult but I never imagined that I would feel so defeated at the end of the day. Between nursing and then giving equal amount of attention to big brother there is not time to get other stuff done. Case in point, the floors in our house are DISGUSTINGLY dirty and need to be swept in a really bad way...I have been trying to get to it for a weeks now. I had forgotten how much time it takes to simply be a mom. Plus then you add in work, exercise, time for hubby, and wow that slice of the pie of time that used to be for me has gotten really really small. I miss me time...and hope that it will return in larger quantities soon. Olde and I have completely given up trying to get stuff done around the house when we are home alone with the kids and even though we are always apologizing for not getting stuff done to each other, both of use never fault each other as we know it is near impossible to even make a phone call when you are alone with the boys. And how Olde does it ---I mean being home all the time alone with the boys---I have no idea. I think I would go crazy. Maybe he does --although you would never know it---and that is why I come home to this some days...

BUT even though this is a hard hill to climb, I love every minute of it. Is that weird? I guess what I am trying to say is that when Young Old was born I did not know that part of my heart even existed.  I thought I knew what love was until he came into my life and that new way of viewing love was discovered. Once Old and I decided to have a second child, then I wondered how I would share that part in my heart with another being but what I have learned is that that part of my heart has gotten bigger instead of being split in two as I had expected---kinda like when the Grinch's heart grew when he was infected with the holiday spirit. Now if only time would grow longer to accommodate this new family dynamic.

So as tired as I am and sad that I don't have as much time for me I would never take it all back. This is my life and I love every minute of it! I mean look at him, how could you not?

check out the new skills in the bumbo chair